30 November 2002

[E-gads I'm Bored]

God, this ranks as being one of the most pathetic Saturday nights, EVER! I have papers to grade and laundry to wash, but I have no desire currently to be productive. Anyway, I have to run down to Blockbuster and return two videos. Perhaps I'll be inspired during the windy drive down Clifton. Perhaps I'll just end up renting, yet another, crappy movie.

29 November 2002

[There Are Leftovers in the Fridge, and I'm Not Afraid to Use Them]

Having managed to drink myself to a comfortable bliss and to stuff myself into an uncomfortable bloat -- all while learning of my cousin's new girlfriend whose mother is a biker-stripper who has nearly killed all four of her ex husbands -- I have decided to mark this Thanksgiving as a "good" one. Granted, I had to sit at the "kids table," but -- alas -- I was the only *drunk* one sitting among the little ones.

27 November 2002

[Holiday Thoughts]

This question was inspired by lulu. Where you will be sitting this Thanksgiving: -- At the "Grown Up Table?" -- At the "Kids Table?" -- On the floor in front of the TV? or, my personal favorite: -- At the "Still Not Married Table?" I'm betting that I'll be at the "Kids Table." Thanksgiving will be at my aunt's this year, and because I'm betting that there will be more "adult-types" there, that I'll get stuck cutting turkey and catching a cold with the children. Joy.

27 November 2002

[Is there a class I can take . . .]

. . . for the Karmically challenged? When it rains, it pours. So cliche', yes, but so true . . .

22 November 2002

[An Overdose of Time]

It seems as if the 25th anniversary of my birth went off without a hitch. Granted, I've had to spend money on new tires and to withstand what I deem (I'm leaning toward hypochondriacism -- is that a word? -- at the moment) a gynecological nightmare over the past few days, but I don't seem to be nearly as emotionally wrecked as I would have forecasted a couple weeks ago. Wednesday, after teaching my night class, I grabbed a couple drinks to acknowledge that I was indeed twenty-five years of age. Like the responsible adult I am -- lowered insurance rates and all -- I made it to bed at a reasonable hour and arrived at work promptly at 7:00am, which gave me my necessary hour to ponder over the day's lesson plans. Classes ran smoothly. More students dropped. And my grand total number of students in my three classes has fallen drastically to forty -- I began the quarter with over sixty. Of these forty, I forecast that only thirty will pass. ::Insert Evil Laugh Here:: I have officially decided that sex is trivial (I'm kidding, of course), now that I've experienced that which is known as the "hour massage" at Mitchell's Salon and Spa. I think the fact that I drooled on myself while laying on my stomach says it all. I think the only thing that could have made it better is if I took a valium or smoked some weed. The little bit-o-alcohol I had in my system made things nice, though. Today has been rather laid back. I spent an hour this afternoon re-registering with Fetish Factory and rebuilding my Fetish Factory Wish List. Recently, some kind Internet stranger bought me some shirts off of another wish list -- no flashing required even! -- so I figured I try to be an Internet whore (but only for a brief moment) and post another list of expensive things which will only contribute to my materialistic whims.

18 November 2002

[Someone Call a Dentist]

I think I've been grinding my teeth again. I try very hard not get myself into what can only be described as a "funk," but I think pushing off my depression and what not only makes the inevitable even stronger. I generally find myself very agitated and antisocial once every couple months. However, I've been forcing myself to be cheery and -- for lack of a better term -- "normal" for about six or seven months through various pill concoctions, alcoholic substances, social endeavors, and time-consuming projects. I think I'm crashing. I don't want to, but it needs to happen. Perhaps having one good cry and a punch to the wall might do the trick. I should be thrilled. The quarter is almost over and my birthday is around the corner. I'm starting to re-acquire the social life, which I abandoned a long time ago. I have a job and food in my fridge. I just consolidated my student loans, and I am close to being debt free. I'm not even worried about my abnormal pap smear from July, because something in my gut tells me that my test results from earlier this month will be a-ok (though waiting for them has been tedious). In other, irrelevant news, my cordless phone sucks. And it's probably a good thing that I don't have any reasonably sharp knives in my apartment. Maybe all I need is a cigarette and a beer. Maybe all I need is a good night of sleep. I'm starting to think that the new birth control I'm on is contributing to my crash -- or to the fact that I'm making absolutely no fucking sense right now.

08 November 2002

[Argh!]

If I don't get out of my apartment tonight, I risk straining or pulling something. I've been in this furniture-moving mood off and on for the last four weeks or so. I just moved my dresser and a bookshelf. And I have a hankering to do something drastic in the living room. Perhaps I should just soak in the bath until my compulsiveness subsides for the night. If I had the cash, I'd head out to some random club or bar to stare at people.

03 November 2002

[It's Official]

Sean and I had our first quickie. How cute.