26 June 2002

[Ugly!]

I just looked at my livejournal via Netscape 4.75 on a Sun/Solaris machine. Blech.

25 June 2002

[Kitty, that's my pot pie!]

It seems as if I've reverted to being a night owl. For a year and a half, I lived the normal nine to five life. I woke up before sunrise, worked during the day, and ate dinner at six. Off my day job for almost a month, with no early morning commutes to day-long workshops in sight, I'm slowly becoming a creature of the night, unable to wake up early enough to get to work on time -- at a job that starts in the afternoon and unable to go to sleep before the second showing of Conan O'Brien. Last night, I finally hit the hay around 5:30 am. While I'm enjoying my new schedule -- I feel so much better at night, in so many indescribable ways -- I know I'm just shooting myself in the foot. I had this obscene goal to wake up at a reasonable, morning hour to go running before work (that was my whole purpose behind choosing second shift). I would go running at night, but there have been too many gunshots and/or "fireworks" in my 'hood lately. And as "citified" as I consider myself to be, I still fear what goes down on my block. Hmmm, I just watched a news report on the "cereal diet;" it works but it's "not healthy" because you don't get enough nutrients, but, then again, that's what vitamins are for, right? In more optimistic, less whiny news, I have been completely headache free for a week. If this keeps up, I guess I won't be making a headache log (shit, I liked the idea!).

24 June 2002

[The mail(wo)man will never be the same.]

The weekend began uneventful, and ended the same. Though, there was some semi-noteworthy stuff that happened in between. Friday, I went down to The Cavern and had a few beers -- enough alcohol that I was still drunk the next morning. But, hey, it beats a hangover any day. I drank for free -- usually not a good thing for me. It's like a red tag sale or blue light special -- as if I need to "stock up" on something completely useless like paisley shelf paper or blank vhs tapes. "Well, I better drink as much as I can. Next time it might not be free." The important part is that I made it home, after which I consumed a lot of water while making a pitiful attempt to type. Not a good idea. I had a hankering to go to The Warehouse, but I was too wasted to match blacks and de-lint (Damn those black lights!). I fell asleep after my fruitless attempts to stir up trouble in my apartment building. Saturday morning, er afternoon, commenced with a decent round of morning sex. I say decent as opposed to great or spectacular, or shitty for that matter, because it was so damn hot in my apartment that water breaks were in order -- though the immense sweating was kinda sexy. I'm convinced that the mail carrier heard what was going on in the living room of my apartment. The window was open (I live on the first floor, right next to the foyer, adjacent to the mailboxes) as he/she consciously decided to drop off a package for me without ringing the doorbell or knocking on the front door. I guess (s)he knew I was home and that was all that mattered. Last night (Saturday), I tooled around with my friend Mike and went to The Warehouse. The place was dead and I was in no mood to drink. I had two or three shots and called it a semi-sober night. Today, I bought Snatch on DVD (I have it on VHS, too), and I'll probably watch it tomorrow after work for the bizillionth time. Why I haven't chosen to collect unemployment this summer is beyond me. I'd actually make more getting unemployment than I will at my summer job. I'm dreading the fucking commute. My car is dying, and I'm afraid that it only has a year left in it. I was counting on working somewhere closer to home this summer so I could walk to work, or take the bus without having to catch 20 transfers. No suck fucking luck. blah. In other news, I'm going to start up some sort or ezine at holer.org. If you're interested in submitting artwork or writing or whatever, go ahead. I'm not picky. Just don't suck too much. This week, my agenda includes: secure fall work, get oriental rug cleaned, move old desk out of living room, clean office, and do serious laundry. Lord, aren't I exciting?

22 June 2002

[Whoa]

i'm drunk. Ttyping is far too taxing at the moment. bleh.

18 June 2002

[Headaches, inc.]

I've decided I'm going to start keeping a headache log on my website. I ran some errands today, and immediately started to get a headache after being in an air conditioned room; I could smell the mold. Air conditioning -- via central air more so than window units -- makes my head swell in agony. I've turned off my own apartment a/c and noticed that I haven't gotten my usual late night headache. But, with hot summer days ahead, I don't know how I'll fare. Thank god for pain killers. Now if they only didn't make me drowsy. Today, I had to take two Duradrin Capsules. But I didn't have any nausea, so I didn't have to take the Promethazine tablets. I napped -- sort of -- for about an hour. By "sort of," I mean, I was halfway on the bed, with my legs hanging over, with the television on. I so desperately did not want to sleep. I had things to do. But in hindsight, it was probably the best thing to do for my head. I start my summer job next week. I decided to take this week off completely -- no work, no classes, no workshops -- in hopes that I would get some work around my apartment done. Perhaps wednesday will be more productive.

15 June 2002

[Imagine, for a moment . . .]

that your power goes out, leaving you with nothing but absolute silence. Soak it up; before you know it, CG&E will have their asses in gear. Electricity will be restored, and again, your apartment will be plagued by that white noise you love so well: computer humming, air-conditioner panting, fan swirling, mini-fan-to-keep-computer-cool-because-the-one-in-the-box-isn't-worth-shit buzzing. I think I'll microwave a burrito.

11 June 2002

[click-click-pow]

I wish people wouldn't play with fireworks in my neighborhood. There are enough gunshots as it is.

11 June 2002

[The Joys of Toradol]

I woke up this morning with one of my token migraines. Pain right behind the left temple which grew steadily, eventually taking over the entire crown of my head. Right after waking up, I consumed two extra strength tylenol, then braced myself for pending nausea and vomiting -- the two signs of a true migraine. The pills didn't kick in, so I took one of my migraine pills prescribed to me during the spring bout with the croup. This triggered several trips to the bathroom to vomit nothing but a yellowish mixtures of stomach acid and pills. I gave in, called the hospital up the street, and made an 11:30 appointment in the emergency room to get a shot of Toradol. Hunched over in the waiting room, shielding my eyes from the light and my ears from the television, I thought I was going to get again. When my name was called, however, I sprang up instantly, out of the happy thought that I would be drugged soon. yay! I'm surprised that my sudden movement didn't trigger more nausea. The nurse checked my vitals, asked me the usual questions. The doctor didn't even so much as touch me or shine light in my eyes. I think I scared her. "Just give me the painkiller, bitch, now!" I didn't say that, but I could tell that she knew that I didn't want to chit chat about how I felt. Talking hurt. Just hearing my own voice reverberate in my head made me woozy. The nurse returned after the doctor's departure and gave me my shot. I tried to nap on the bench, but after moving my head ever so slightly while attempting to make myself comfortable, I instantly got nauseated. I was going to puke. I stepped into the hallway and walked to the unisex bathroom; it was occupied. Shit, I thought. I ran back into the room I was in, leaned over the "Hazardous Waste" bin and puked. And it felt good. After getting my scripts filled at the hospital, I came home, took pills - I had to force myself not to puke them up - and slept for five hours. After eating, I slept again, for about two hours. I'm still out of it, and I'd love to go back to sleep, but I'm forcing myself to remain awake, as I don't want to throw my sleeping schedule off too much. But that's probably unlikely at this point. The nurse said that if I had chronic migraines I could take preventative medicine for them. I get headaches fairly often, but I'm good at controlling them. When not plagued by nausea, I can usually take a concoction of pills and liquids which kills the pain within a half-hour or so. I think I'm going to start keep a headache log. Perhaps this way I can determine when I out to just start taking the preventative meds, which I assume would prevent all headaches -- not just migraines. Question: do I go through enough extra strength tylenol as a result of my eyestrains and more minor headaches that it would be cheaper to go on some fancy every-day pill to my pains away?

07 June 2002

[Finally]

My stint at the high school is over. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to miss some of the folks I worked with, but that's about it. Those kids can rot for all I care. Today, some girl, who I've been more than tolerant with - especially considering her attitude and truancy issues - was running around the computer lab, like some second grader on crack. Well, I had enough. I told her to quit running around or I'd kick her ass out. Yes, I said ass. So fucking what. Well, the little wench - who has yet to discover the aesthetic advantages of waxing her upper lip (why I decided to say that, I don't know - just ignore me) looked at me like I was completely out of line (and I was - a tad - but that fact that she was running around my "office" and yelling infuriated me). Well, 20 minutes later, she poked her head in and said "My Aunt is here and she's gonna kick your ass." Great, I thought. Twenty minutes later (again) I was running some errands around the building and I ran into the girl and a retarded building sub. I asked the girl if she finally realized what she did wrong and why I was so pissed. She said, in so many words, that she didn't care what she did wrong and that she didn't want to stoop to my level. *My* level. So some little bitch can run around *my* territory like some idiot and be COMPLETELY disrespectful, but I'm completely out of line when I tell her that I'll make her leave the lab. Oh yeah, I used an expletive. Big deal. I get told I'm a fucking bitch all the time. What a joke. Well, this building sub, who likes to "befriend" and "mentor" delinquent students decided that he had the authority to tell this bitch that she shouldn't act a-fool because I acted a-fool. Supposedly, after she left the lab, she went cussin' up a storm in the hallway. Mr. Reed - instead of asking her "Why are you roaming the hallway, Where are you supposed to be" (he was supposed to be acting as hall monitor during exams - what a joke) - pulls her aside and "helps" her. Mr. Reed is a useless piece o' shit. A teacher once told me how Mr. Reed kept a student out of class, then at the end of the bell brought the child to class and said something like "well, Ashly is having problems with school and I was just talking with her . . . you shouldn't count her absent." What a load of shit. So, after this I find out that this idiot basically told this girl that it was ok to undermine me, because I was out of line. He tries to follow me down the hallway explaining his - and her - position: "You don't understand her." "You have to keep together." Bullshit I don't have to keep together - not on the last day of school when every kid is acting like some uncontrollable crackhead; not when kids stomp all over you because "you aren't a real teacher" (excuse me if my two masters degrees aren't par with some teaching certificate) . . . I could go on for days. Then, if the whole situation wasn't shitty enough, Mr. Reed tries to "mentor" me. I snapped and said, "The last person I need advice from is your sorry ass, Mr. Reed." I've been wanting to say this all fucking year, because this isn't the first time he's gotten under my skin and tried to patch things up with his "wisdom." I think what totally rocks is that everybody in my department sided with me on this. It's not like it was made an issue. The girl *knew* she was out of to begin with. And her threat is by far, the lamest one I've gotten this year. I'm just thrilled that I will never have to step foot in that cesspool again. Thank god that's over.

03 June 2002

[Another Monday]

I've come to the realization that I might not be able to rely on the summer employment opportunities presented to me earlier this year. The school year is quickly coming to an end and I need a source of income. It's been 12 days or so since I sent in a letter and resume to the downtown library; I was hoping to hear something by now from Mike. I think they're picky over there. I'll check out the Enquirer job section this afternoon. Granted, I get a paycheck from the school all the way until the end of July, but overlapping income would really help me out right now. My savings account is shot; I think I'm going to close it if I can't get a decent balance in it by the end of the month. I'd like to do some design jobs and keep my brain active this summer. But then again, I'll be studying for my comps with Melissa and Laura; that will keep me mentally stimulated enough.