28 December 2002

[Currently . . .]

I am sitting, wrapped in a towel -- heated from being draped over the register, whitening my teeth. Every year, my mom buys me "practical" Christmas presents. I don't really "need" anything: I have a good wardrobe, an apartment filled with a wide range of furniture -- some antique, some new, and enough knick-knacks and "things" to prove my geekyness on several different levels. This year, my mom bought me a Dirt Devil -- which comes in handy especially for pet owners --, a cheap electric toothbrush, Crest White Strips, a gorgeous blue sweater (I'm not even a bit sweater person), and a powerball ticket (sadly, I didn't win shit). So, yeah, my teeth are being bleached as I speak. If these things can evict the coffee stains on my teeth, I'll be in awe. I've used them for two days now, and I must admit, I see a difference, and my upper gums feel really clean. Enough about my oral hygiene . . .

27 December 2002

[Holy Shit]

A girl I used to work with is on a "Teen Farm" web page. That's right kids -- sex with animals. Why I provided the link is beyond me. I'm down with a little porn now and then, but bestiality is fucking sick. That's all.Drive through. Come again. And have a nice day.

27 Dececmber 2002

[Damn]

I just made some kick ass coffee. This Millstone shit is worth every penny. In other news, I'm almost done with BOTH syllabi for Winter Quarter. Hopefully I can get them completed by monday so I can get copies from the secretary early. Last quarter seemed to be a last minute effort. My goal this winter is to be bit more prepared. We'll see. Less than half of my nine-thirty class showed. And as I was leaving the campus at around five till eleven, the snow poured. As pretty as it was, I couldn't help cursing the sky. All these students -- sooooo pathetically behind because of the weather. This is the end of the second week, and most of my students have already missed two or three classes. What really irks me is the fact that none of them have made an effort to contact me, and at least ask about the first major essay assignment, which I handed out today. I take that back -- one student contacted me. But, it doesn't surprise me. She's an A student from last quarter. I hate to say it so soon, but I don't predict very high scores for my English 102 students this quarter. Though I am absolutely lovin' this long Christmas break (UC generally starts its Winter Quarter January 2nd -- this year, the quarter begins January 6th), I'm peeved about the brief Spring break between Winter and Spring Quarters. The fact that I only have one week to raise hell and be lazy this March is bothersome. But then again, the fact that I want to spend my Spring break completely free of work-related issues will only motivate me to get my Spring Quarter syllabi completed before any break time. I've decided to visit Los Angeles (to see the lovely and vivacious Tricia in her exciting world) during break -- that is, if the walls in her apartment are, in fact, as thick as she claimed when we were drunk monday night. What a hoot.

27 December 2002

[Oh What a Weary Web We Weave]

It's difficult to write up a syllabus for a course you've never taught. It's even more difficult when the department head just gave you the course two weeks before the quarter. And it's even more of a fucking pain in the ass when you don't have the textbook with all the required reading material. I keep telling myself I'll be okay: "As long as I stay one week ahead of the students . . ." I don't get paid enough for this shit.

25 December 2002

[Another Chrismas Fiasco Survived]

I have come home from my parents and paternal grandparents with a few gifts, some money, and a sad reminder that I'm related to fundamentalist christians. My cousin, Eric, is going to be ordained this September, soon after which -- get this -- he's getting married to a "Godly Woman." I think I'm going to be sick. Drinking is in order. In other news, the kind folks at Best Buy (who only required a mild arm twisting and finger pointing) are giving me a new laptop computer tomorrow. The repair costs on my Pavilion exceeded its value, thus, by contract Best Buy is obligated to handover a brand new laptop which costs the same as my current one did two and half years ago (giddiness ensues). My brother, whose part-time employment at Media Play earns him a fatty discount at Best Buy, will attempt to get a backasswards "discount" for me through which I might be able to get a laptop worth more than my "credit." But I'm not holding my breath. In any case, I am pleased.

21 December 2002

[It's the soul train. Beep. Beep. Get on Board]

I'm in denial about this whole Christmas Season thing. I'm broke, sober, and bored -- not that doing anything in this city will change my bored status (although I am looking foward to downing some of those special Vanilla Cokes with vivaboheme tonight after she gets her packing and moving finished. I'm on the verge of moving myself -- at least mentally. I've outgrown my semi-large one bedroom apartment, and I've lost the need to live in the Clifton area. East Walnut Hills is a nice area, where I could easily find an apartment a bit bigger than mine for less than what I'm paying now. I know Larry will raise the rent this June, and I don't want to be here when it happens. Paying fivehundred bucks a month for this place -- which is how much Larry charges new renters in this building -- will surely kill me. I've started the new apartment hunt slowly -- checking out the classifieds in the Enquirer, asking friends about the "steals" they've found in what are stereotypically "not liked" neighborhoods, planning a budget and good "moving window" in between academic quarters. Ideally, I should move after UC's Winter Quarter, so as to avoid any chance of being busy with Spring Quarter when Larry drops the rent-hike bomb. However, I would like to take a vacation this Spring Break -- to Las Vegas (to see Lacey, of course) or to California, Arizona, or Oregon to visit the myriad of folks I know in those parts. I guess it all depends on my cash flow. If anyone in the Cincinnati area can help me out, I would greatly appreciate it. I'm looking for a good sized one bedroom apartment, or a two bedroom (an efficiency "type" two bedroom is fine) so that I can have my computer and (at least part of) my library in a separate room. I prefer old buildings, wood floors, and pet-friendly landlords. I know this might sound picky, but really it's not. I'm not wary about semi-ghetto areas -- Hell, I grew up in Avondale -- and I don't care if the apartment is "rough" (I prefer flawed character to white sterility). On an irrelevant note, the mail just came, and I received a Christmas card from my Grandmother with a nice little check. Fun! I actually sent out some cards yesterday in hopes that it would make me feel a bit more Christmas-y. To end this post -- which has resembled nothing useful at best -- I will shamelessly plug two products: 1)Bump Stopper for Ladies: This "ingrown hair & razor rash treatment" is a godsend. There's a version for men, as well. The product I used for the longest time to remedy my razor burn had been discontinued, but this new stuff rocks the house. Granted, if I had the cash, I'd be getting brazillian waxing once a month rather than running a Mach 3 across my lower-hemisperic regions everyday. 2)Mucked Up Liquid Latex Head Wear: I have unruley hair, as most red heads do. And although I am *blessed* that my hair isn't extremely coarse or curly (though, at times I wish it were), it is still a pain to deal with -- as one day it wants to be limp and next day it wants to be wirey and semi-curly. This Head Wear stuff not only controls my mane without making it greasy or sticky, but also leaves a nice shine. Plus, it smells great. There you have it: my two-cents.

20 December 2002

[Geesh.]

I'm so bored that I might go to the Warehouse. The thought of blowing between seven and ten bucks to park and to enter is not a happy one, as this will limit my drinking fundage. Poo.

14 December 2002

[Ripped from Ravenlace]

I am not: earning enough money. I love: steak when it's rare. I hate: (I LOATHE) the holidays. I fear: Fundamentalist Christians. I hope: to find a new place to live, soon. I hear: the 10-o-clock news in the living room. I crave: (dammit) a bloody steak! I regret: eating that Graeters ice-cream earlier. I cry: rarely anymore. I care: about my bills getting paid. I always: wear mascara. I believe: stupid people suck. I feel alone: often. I listen: to hardly anyone (I'm quick to tune people out). I hide: from the police. I drive: horribly. I sing: sometimes. I dance:(d) nude for four years. I write: twisted fiction when I'm inspired, but mostly non-fiction. I play: with my you know what! I miss: being under twenty-five. I search: for my car keys on a daily basis. I learn: sometimes. I feel: bloated. I know: I'm a pain in the ass. I say: "shit" after I sneeze. I succeed: at being an idiot magnet. I dream: of world peace (who am I kidding?). I wonder: if the steak place is still open. I want: money and meat. I have: a huge debt from graduate school loans. I give: nothing. I fell: from grace. I fight: with anyone. I need: a nice, powerful, mind-altering substance. Preferably one that will make my unborn children, grow gills.

14 December 2002

[Saturday Afternoon Bathtub Fun]

Is is wrong to listen in on the neighbors as they make fuck sex in the bathroom which is adjacent to mine? I mean, I couldn't help it. I *was* in the shower, and they were so loud that I could hear them over the sound of my shower head's loud "massage" setting (as it hit my back, you sickos).

14 December 2002

[Ringing in my Ear with a Pocketful of Faith]

I can't believe the quarter is over, as it seems like only yesterday that I was furiously sending out resumes in hope that some college would hire me to teach freshman English. This past week, I nearly suffocated while drowning among the final papers and portfolios, which now sit calmly -- all in self addressed stamped envelopes -- in a Saks Fifth Avenue bag, which I need to drag to the local post office. I was very surprised. Shocked even. There were a handful of students who I coined (at least in my own head) "A" students, and I assumed that I would be handing out several slightly above average and average marks. But, my students amazed me. Really. And it takes a lot to amaze me (don't get this confused with the fact that I am often easily amused). I've never given so many A's and so few D's and F's. Even those students I regarded as C students, pulled out some amazing final projects for their ability levels. Perhaps my instruction actually had an impact on them. Perhaps not. But in any case, I feel good. Hell, one student -- a nursing major -- declared to me that she wants to switch the focus of her studies. Of course, I replied (in so many words): "when you can't find a job in your field and are forced to attend grad school, don't hunt me down -- I am in no way responsible for your poor decision making." I guess I'm flattered that a student of mine in a basic 101 class wants to study English. But I hope she thinks about it. The life of an English Major is not a luxurious one by any means.

14 December 2002

[Off to Vegas]

After reading about Lacey's orgasmic experience at work, I decided that I will be making a trip to Sin City as soon as funds allow, so that I can get some of that Snake Girl Lap Dance Lovin'.

07 December 2002

[he he]

baked infants and fried cheese.

07 December 2002

[It's Christmas Time in Hollis Queens]

If I don't get out of here tonite, I think I'll end up moving -- yet another -- piece of furniture. I wouldn't mind visiting a local dive and drinking a couple beers, but I'm strapped for cash.

07 December 2002

[Wow]

I'm bored.

05 Dececmber 2002

[Snow Day Madness, Thanks to Bob]

76. Would you make love to Pill Bug for $20? NO 77. Would you pay to see Rich naked? Well, Bob sees him naked for FREE, so why should I have to pay? 78. Would you date Dilbert if he were a little taller? Definitely. 79. Are you willing to kick Becky's ass for a T-shirt? Tell Becky that it's ON! 80. Would you snuggle with Kelly if his wife allowed it? Is this being monitored?

05 December 2002

[Giddyness Ensues]

Two hour snow delay means no work for me, as both of my tuesday/thursday classes meet before 10am. You know it has to suck when the univerSITY of CINcinnati cancels classes.

03 December 2002

[Praise the Fabric Softener]

I did laundry, but despite having clean underwear, I'm still going commando. I think I rather like it. Let's hope I don't get into an accident. In any case, no panties are better than holey ones.

02 December 2002

[Can I get an Amen, Biatch]

The "subject" for this post makes absolutely no sense. But that's a-ok. I make no sense. I was going to crack open my computer tonight and install the USB 2.0 port I recently purchased from Micro Center, but upon arriving at home I was greeted by fifty e-mails, most of which demanded a response of sorts -- generally, I get more spam than real correspondence. Now the desire to whip out the screwdriver has fled. What can I say, I'm flaky. I desperately need to do laundry. This is the second day in a row that I've had to go "commando." With the remainder of my paycheck, which has been chewed into by the rent and student loan payment, I plan on getting my car washed (though I fear it will fall apart once all the salt and grime is lifted away), buying some books (I forecast that I'll be doing some reading over the Christmas break to stimulate my brain cells as they have been brutally beaten to retardation by this quarter's landslide of horribly written English 101 essays that I've had to read), and purchasing some board games. For some reason, I have a hankering to play Scrabble and Monopoly. God, I used to play the Hell out of board games when I was a kid. And I think it would be good for me to have a non-computer hobby, preferably one that will force me to interact with other people. I'm looking into moving. But the more I look around my apartment and all the stuff I own, the more frightened I get. I have a funny feeling, however, that rent will be raised next summer, and I want to be gone before this happens. I'm overpaying for this place as it is. If any Cincinnati people can point me in the direction of reasonably priced large one bedroom or two bedroom apartments (I'd like to have an office separate from my bedroom), I would greatly appreciate it. I'm willing to pay up to six-hundred a month, though I would prefer to find a place around five-hundred (or less -- of course!).

02 Dececmber 2002

[Go Ask Alice]

Sometimes, I wish that I lacked the ability to become emotionally attached. I've been with Sean for a month and a half, and I'm already hosting this fight between my heart -- my unthinking desire for love and companionship -- and my mind -- my unforgiving slap on the back of my head, which reminds me that any state of bliss that I will ever feel will, indeed, end. And it will usually end ugly. I shouldn't be where I am right now. I shouldn't be anywhere near it. Breaking up with Tom was supposed to facilitate freedom after almost four years of being under lock and key and, what seemed, constant surveillance. Love ended ugly, indeed. But here I am again, falling for someone, someone who clearly carries the mutual feelings -- although I think he's a bit more smitten than me (at times it's difficult to tell). This is the second night in a row I have consciously decided not to spend the night with Sean. Last night, I left his place rather early. Tonight, I forced myself out of my almost asleep state to come home. I told him I had to run errands in the morning and that I wouldn't get up early and get anything done by a reasonable hour if I stayed over. This is partially true, I think. The full truth is that I'm afraid that I'm, once again, depending on another to affirm my own existence, like I can't hack it alone. No. That's not the full truth. There's part of me that wonders what I'll be doing in five years -- whether I'll be married with a stable career, whether I'll be back in graduate school, whether I'll be happy and at least semi-successful. My mom made a comment at Thanksgiving about me waiting around for a man with money. I laughed it off and made some comment like, "Yeah, I need a man to pay off my student loans, that's what I'm looking for." Sadly, that's not far from the truth. I would love to be taken care of so that money was no longer an issue, so that I could live in a house with a dog and my two point five children. I look at the relationships I get myself into and I KNOW that there can't be any sort of future, any practical future, that is. I'm not twenty-one anymore, and although I realize that twenty-five isn't old by any means, I do know that I ought to be thinking about what lies ahead beyond the next time I get laid. I'm fighting the inevitable fall (into whatever sort of love one can be in after fucking someone for a little over a month), which is probably not helping. Perhaps I should just let it happen. And when I get hurt or find myself teetering on the edge of some potentially harmfully precarious situation, I will remind myself that "love sucks: stab it with a spork." I'm fighting the inevitable fall (into whatever sort of love one can be in after fucking someone for a little over a month), which is probably not helping. Perhaps I should just let it happen. And when I get hurt or find myself teetering on the edge of some potentially harmfully precarious situation, I will remind myself that "love sucks: stab it with a spork." 'Tis rather chilly in my apartment. I will now crawl into my warm bed and sleep my woes away.